Psychiatrists asked to comment on whether singaporeans are an honest lot, said that we generally are but when it comes to speaking the truth, we are mostly not honest with it. we do not want to speak from our minds as we generally do not want to deal with conflict. if we can save ourselves from discomfort why not just shut up? ha ha ha. is that true? a little bit of truth if you ask me, i for one do not like conflict but i have learnt to move out from that very comforting zone and speak my truth, be it sometimes blunt or plain pointless. there is this insecurity in me that i am always afraid that i might just offend someone... most of the times i am being overly sensitive as my presumed situation is not real. so i ask myself why am i so worried abt getting into people's black book? i've learnt to reflect upon myself more often than ever and i deal with my insecurities one by one. so that i can be free and just be me. i owe myself that dont you think?
i have to tell u i like my job.. at least for the time being i like it. we are going to pitch for a project.. it is a musical ,, u know broadway kinda musical. our client has a budget of $300K for this project and this musical is just so,,, "jia yu hu xiao" u know-- it is a household piece, i bet EVERYONE knows the theme song be it whether u are 2 or 92. tell u when we successfully get the commission to run it. u know how much celine dion earns? her live shows at las vegas is at contract price $100 mil. ya 100 million and that is US not sing$. is that wow or WOW WOW WOW. do u know the magnitude of having a million dollars a hundred times? and that is just a contract price. think abt how else she is worth. money aside, i like her, u know, faith, determination, confidence, social contribution, having a cause, filial piety etc. i must start thinking on contract terms, instead of dreaming abt toto. i will still dream abt winning at toto but that will be my bonus. u cant blame me for having faith in winning the jackpot. i was once one number away from being a millionaire. close shave huh? closing up the gap im sure.
u know,, my new lecturer for this module is a greenhorn. i am soooooooo damn bored at her lessons i would rather pluck ur white hair. ya it is cheap to ask me pluck, one successful strand cost u only 10cents. only if it's white. if ive got a black one out, then im sorry. it doesnt really matter. plus im quite good at it. see how much nonsense i can think of. ya, i would rather peel something than sit in class... it is boring. she tells us abt her master prog etc 1000 times she said she has masters but she uses words like "a rose" for "arouse" and nowsadays for nowadays. and said "re-examine again" so how many times is re-examine again? four times to be exact. of course i dont mind anyone speaking like that as im not proficient it english language as well, it's just that bragging thing that doesnt quite match the delivery. full of angst me. i told my sch administrator that i dont know if i should feel sorry for the greenhorn lecturer or i should feel sorry for us having to put up with her. i hope she doesnt penalize me for giving honest feedback, well i would know when i get my project back. my grades would tell. haha.
k lunch time over liao. talk tomorrow.
1 comment:
Gee, for once, you wrote pretty long. Yeah, I think Singaporeans shun away from telling the truth because we do not to take the consequences.
Living in the western world, sometimes, it is hard to take the 'bad' truth that the ang-mohs are throwing at me. Learning to be less sensitive and more open in that area of accepting the truth.
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